deucalio:

Every time I open the freezer I fucking see this woman smiling at me with her small ass fucking ice cream cone

goodmorningvelma:

#i talk a lot about characters i ”identify with” but really aren’t we all just lemongrab

harryspankme:

if i had a dollar for every time someone told me i was pretty i would have exactly one dollar thanks mom

jessikapow:

paula-deens-buttery-thighs:

staticsrecyclebin:

I’ve done it

I’ve created the perfect hentai creature

I don’t know which is funnier, this post, or the paula deens buttery thighs url.

blein:

sO my friend’s dog died and she lives in new york city and so she had to take it to the vet by the subway and she put the dead dog in the suitcase on the subway and it was a pretty big dog and some dude saw that she was struggling with the suitcase so he asked if she needed help with it and he said do you mind me asking what’s in it and she didnt want to say a dead dog so shE SAID IT WAS A BUNCH OF LAPTOPS SO HE TOOK THE SUITCASE AND RAN AND I JUST 

reapershadcat:

yahoo has gon…. tOO FAR

poindexters:

5th Period Massacre // LeATHERMOUTH

pearls:

pearls:

i touched a dick once and it was the scariest thing in my life because it had a really cold head and i don’t know it wasn’t fun

sometimes the ‘i’ and ‘u’ shouldn’t be so close on the keyboard 

subtlecluster:

velved:

Marilyn Minter, oil on canvas

THESE ARE PAINTINGS. LET’S TALK ABOUT THAT FOR A SECOND

Dear Marilyn Minter, you’re a badass. Look at more of her stuff.

evacuatesanely:

she can’t behave, and i’m just a slave.

don’t worry, i’ll be gone when the morning comes.